I’ve mentioned before that I met my husband on the internet. Yes, I met people while out at the bars and nightclubs with my friends, and even dated a few, too, but I got tired of that scene and signed up for a few dating sites online.
I’ve met quite a few men from online dating sites. I wish I had kept track of how many, but who knew I would end up blogging about it? It’s been a little over 14 years since I’ve used online dating sites, but I think a lot of these tips are still relevant today.
When I was on the dating sites, I had a few rules that I set because I wanted be safe while meeting strangers:
- I had to speak to the person on the phone. You just can’t read someone as well when texting or emailing.
- The guy had to live within 50 miles from me. I’ve never been interested in long distance relationships.
- I had to know where the guy worked. If I could verify that, I knew I was talking to a real person who could be found if anything bad happened.
- I had to meet within a couple of weeks. I wasn’t looking for a pen pal.
- I only met in public places. I NEVER gave my address to anyone!
- I made sure that I told someone my plans and as much information about the guy I was meeting as possible. That person would call me about 30 minutes into the date so that if I wanted to leave, I could pretend I had just received an important call and had to go.
I can honestly say I never had any horrible experiences, but I did meet people who I knew I would never see again after the first meeting. I don’t know about you, but I can read people pretty quickly. I was nice about it, but there wasn’t any point in wasting anyone’s time.
I met a few men who posted old pictures when they clearly didn’t look that way anymore. I always made sure I had current pictures posted and available, because I only wanted to meet men who were interested in ME. Why would I want to set someone up for disappointment? Nowadays, you can video chat with people, which eliminates all of the second-guessing. I wish video chat was available when I was meeting people! Honestly, I don’t see how people get away with “catfishing” other people when video chat is available. If I were on dating sites today, I would NOT meet anyone unless we video chatted a few times first. Period.
My experience with online dating was pretty successful. I dated a few men for a few months and had two long-term relationships. Now, I’m married to someone I met online. The few “bad” meetings I had weren’t all that bad. They were nice guys, but just not for me. I also met a couple of men who I was interested in meeting again, but I wasn’t their cup of tea. It wasn’t a big deal.
There were a couple of men who didn’t like me keeping my dating profile up or communicating with other men online after I started talking to them. I didn’t care. In my opinion, if a guy is going to get possessive before we even meet in person, that’s a huge red flag! I was not going to take my profile down until I met someone and started a real-life relationship with him. I continued communicating with people and when I started actually dating someone, I turned my profile off.
When I was on dating sites, I could have a profile up, but couldn’t contact anyone without paying a membership fee. I didn’t pay fees. I figured that if a guy was interested in me, he would contact me. I stuck to that and never paid a dime, until I saw my husband’s dating profile. I thought he was cute, he lived about 10 miles from me, and worked nearby. I liked the answers he filled out on his dating profile survey, too! I don’t remember all of his answers, but one question asked, “What’s your favorite meat?” His reply was, “YES!” It made me laugh! I was very attracted to his sense of humor.
So, for the first time ever, I reached out first on a dating site. I paid the fee and sent an email. I got a reply later that day. We talked on the phone and decided to meet for dinner at a local restaurant. We had great conversation and sat there for two hours, so we decided to take our date to a local bar for a drink. From there, we went to a nearby casino for a couple of hours. We had a great time! We saw each other every day after that and were married about three-and-a-half months later! It was fast, but felt right, and we’re still married to this day.
I know there are people who frown on couples getting married after dating for only a few months, but I don’t feel there is any specific “waiting period,” and it depends on the couple. I’ve been in a relationship for two years before and never wanted to marry that person. My relationship with my husband was very comfortable and we saw no reason to wait. I’d say we made the right decision!