Just yesterday I blogged about starting a diet a week ago and staying on track.
A day later, I am struggling.
That’s the problem with dieting. Change is hard.
I am an emotional eater, but am trying my best to stop being one. When I am stressed, anxious, or flaring up (from Fibromyalgia), I eat something that makes me feel good.
The problem with that, is that I only feel good in the moment. I’m not helping myself in the long run.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve had three major surgeries over the past two-and-a-half years and have been very sedentary through the healing process and beyond. That was a big mistake.
Now, I don’t have a metabolism. I have no stamina or energy. My muscles are weak. When I do just about anything, I hurt and it makes me stop.
I’m working on increasing my stamina, etc., but it takes time. Today, after walking for only 7 minutes, my lower back hurt. I pushed myself to continue on for 10 minutes, but then I stopped.
It made me feel down and defeated. I am tired of hurting.
What was the first thing I wanted to do? Eat.
But, I didn’t. I don’t want to stop what little progress I’ve made. I know that I have to push through the pain and negativity to reach my goals.
It’s still hard, though. Especially when there is other stress affecting me.
Sometimes you just have to put yourself first.
I know that losing weight will help me A LOT. If I can take some of these pounds off of my body, it will relieve some of the pain I feel.
I have to be more active.
I regret staying down for so long after my surgeries. Everyone around me catered to me. When I tried to do anything, I was told to sit down, that they would do it for me. I shouldn’t have let them. I know they were trying to be helpful and prevent me from hurting, but it contributed to the problem.
Staying down for three years hasn’t helped me at all. In addition to the weight gain, I’m weak. Why did I do that to myself?
I can’t change the past, but I can make changes to improve the future. I WILL continue to make healthy choices and push myself. I’m sure I will have more “down” days, but I’ll get through them, because I refuse to give up.